It's Not Just Bad Morning Sickness...

I know I am only a few posts in, but today I want to post about something that many have heard about but few truly know what it is.  For those of us familiar with it, it's known as HG.  To everyone else, it's Hyperemesis Gravidarum.

Many of you may have heard about HG in regards to Duchess Kate.  Now pregnant with her second child, Duchess Kate has been once again plagued with the dreaded HG.  While I wouldn't wish HG on my worst enemy, thankfully her experience does not seem to last her whole pregnancy, and it has also raised a lot of awareness for us commonfolk who also get it.

So what exactly is Hyperemesis Gravidarum? HG plagues about 2% of pregnancies and is more common with women who are carrying multiples as well as women who had it in previous pregnancies.  It is characterized by any combination of the following symptoms:

1. Severe nausea that never goes away
2. Persistent vomiting
3. Major weight loss in a short time
4. Dehydration
5. Headaches
6. Extreme fatigue
7. Weakness
8. Food aversions

Treatment varies depending on the woman and the severity of her HG.  IV fluids, anti-nausea medication, hospitalization, bed rest, and feeding tubes are just a few things that can be done.

What so many people fail to mention when describing HG is how debilitating it is, not just physically but mentally.  Women with HG also suffer from feelings of helplessness, isolation and depression.  And the guilt.  Oooh the guilt.  Guilt over the occasional resentment of your pregnancy.  Guilt of not being able to keep your home running.  Guilt over not playing with your born children when they ask you to play.  Guilt for asking your husband to do so much for you because you cannot.  It's one of those things in life that you *truly* cannot understand unless you've experienced it.  My husband, bless his supportive soul, still doesn't fully get it, even after watching me go through it for a second time. So many people comment, "oh, so it's like bad morning sickness" as if it's just a little worse than what they experience with their pregnancies.  But it couldn't be further from the truth.  Morning sickness and HG are as different in intensity as a light drizzle and a monsoon.

My HG Journey

As I mentioned before, I was very ill while pregnant with my son.  I lost 20 lbs in the span of about 10 weeks and was perpetually nauseous and/or vomiting from about 7 weeks pregnant until about 17 weeks.  At the time, I really didn't think I had HG because there were women out there that had it far worse than me.  But looking back and now experiencing it again, I realize I did have it (even if it wasn't as extreme as some women get).  

My experience, thankfully, has not been as severe as some women have had (check out this woman's story).  I have what is considered to be a mild-moderate case of HG.  This pregnancy, my sickness kicked in, literally like a light switch one afternoon (it was a Wednesday, I remember it clearly).  By Monday, I was so dehydrated, that I was in the ER getting an IV.  Doctor ordered two bags of saline and another bag of sugar water.  And he gave me Zofran.  Oh Zofran.  Thankfully, my three Zofran a day generally control my urge to vomit (I do have to hold it back sometimes, and other times I lose that battle).  That was also the day my HG diagnosis was handed down to me.

However, the nausea is still constant and severe.  My desire to eat is minimal and generally pretty specific (so if I want something, we go get it, no questions asked).  I figured out one day that I likely average somewhere from 500-800 calories a day.  Some good days, I'll get up to about 1000 if my appetite is really wanting a variety that day.  In 5 weeks of sickness, I lost 15 lbs.  I've lost another 5 lbs in the 3 weeks since.  I cannot stand for more than 5-10 minutes at a time without feeling faint.  I do still work (I'm a teacher) but thankfully my students are extremely understanding and don't care if I sit in my chair and teach from it every day.  And it's been pretty minimal on the classroom fun the past few months.

My evenings are the worst.  My nausea gets worse and is generally only manageable if I am on the couch (preferably laying down, which my son is NOT a fan of letting mommy do). I eventually muster up the energy to take a shower.  Because of my inability to stand for a long time, it is not uncommon for me to sit in the shower just to shower.  There's something therapeutic about sitting there with the warm water washing over me as I soak it all in.  I don't actually feel better, but something about relaxing in the shower helps me forget about it just a little bit.

The depression and anxiety is one of the worst things about HG.  My stomach (thankfully) seems to shut off overnight, but waking up and knowing it's time to start another day is the worst.  The anticipation of knowing what my day will be like is one of the worst feelings in the world.  I take my first Zofran before I get out of bed and spend that 5-10 minutes feeling my nausea slowly creep back in like a fog.  It takes me another 45 minutes of sitting on the couch sipping juice to level out my stomach to feel confident enough in getting up/moving around/maybe attempting some applesauce for breakfast.  At the end of the day, I often lay in bed in tears because I have no idea how much longer this will be.  If it lasts until 17 weeks like it did with my son, I realize I still have at least a month to go.  And there's no guarantees that it will end then.  I sob to my husband that I cannot do this anymore, which is just an empty comment as we know there is nothing that can be done about it other than waiting it out.

Having my son around is a blessing in a curse through this journey.  Blessing because (while I may be a tid bit biased) he is one of the cutest toddlers in the world and brings me so much joy.  He reminds me what I have to look forward to at the end of this.  Curse because 17 month old children are needy and it is so difficult for me to meet his needs and it's exhausting chasing him around.


Ways to support an HG momma

With the rarity of HG, it is quite possible you don't know someone who has or has had HG.  But should you know one, here are a few tips to be as supportive as possible.


1.  Don't talk about your own pregnancy experiences unless you have had HG yourself.  The only exception to this rule is something along the lines of, "wow! I had some bad morning sickness, I can't even imagine what you must be going through!"  There is nothing more annoying than a mom talking about how she had easy pregnancies or trying to compare her morning sickness to your HG.

2. Don't make suggestions.  I know I speak for all women with HG in that we have tried EVERYTHING.  We've tried saltines, ginger, peppermint, acupressure, trying to keep our stomachs full, eating small meals, drinking lots of water, you name it.  Those things usually work for morning sickness.  They do not work for HG.  Making those suggestions is like giving someone a bandaid for a broken arm.

3. Do offer to help.  Come to her house and wash some dishes or do a few loads of laundry.  Take her kids to the park for the day so she can rest.  Offer to go grocery shopping for her so she doesn't have to deal with the sights and smells.

4. Don't say that it is a sign of a healthy pregnancy.  Sickness or lackthereof has zero indication of the health or end result of a pregnancy.  HG moms have had miscarriages and stillborns just like asymptomatic moms.

5. Don't comment on how she looks.  I have had more than one person ask me how I'm feeling and upon my response that I still don't feel well, they say something along the lines of, "yes, I can tell.  You're looking really thin/pale/etc."

6. Don't tell her she is lucky to be pregnant.  Pregnancy loss is tragic.  Infertility is horrible.  Nobody negates neither of those things.  But comparing loss/infertility to HG is like comparing a catastrophic flood to a tornado.  Both are horrible in their own way, but both are extremely different for very obvious reasons.  This is especially terrible to say to a woman with HG because many HG mommas feel extreme guilt due to times of resenting the pregnancy (and some abort because they just can't handle it anymore).

7. Don't minimize it and don't judge.  Some people truly do not understand what a marathon each day is living with HG.  For many women (thankfully I'm not to that point), just getting out of bed is a major accomplishment.  Do not get upset with her if she is unable to do much else past basic human function, including cleaning, going to work, or even talking on the phone.  And do not assume it's not as bad as she says it is.  Many put on a brave face for others around them.  Others are lucky enough to have a good few hours or even a day every so often.

8. Do spread awareness about HG.  One of the hardest parts of having HG is feeling like nobody truly gets it and that people think you are just being a wimp or not trying enough to feel better.



Hyperemesis Gravidarum is scary.  It's hard.  It's isolating.  It's demanding.  It's relentless.  The best thing we can do is raise awareness of the condition so moms out there experiencing it do not feel so alone. A great resource is this website. There are tools for moms, loved ones and doctors on this site.

Photo credit: pregnancysicknesssupport.org.uk